Nature vs. Nurture

I’ve written about it here before, but a year later I am still struggling with nature vs. nurture in two ways.  Mainly because I am starting to believe there is no such thing as nurture at all.  My kids were born with complete personalities all their own and I find it hard to imagine that I influenced them in any way other than providing my DNA.

Second, they were born with completely opposite natures.  Thanks, Mother Nature/Mother Hood for not throwing me a bone with two kids that are at least a tiny bit similar.  I’d like to apply the hard lessons I work out on the first child, to the second child, but you had other plans for me it seems.

Of course, they are still young, just one and three-years-old (even if this is the last week I can say that).  So as they grow can I get my cautious son to be more bold?  And can I temper my fearless daughter with just a touch of mindful awareness?  If so, how?  Because everything I do just seems to reinforce the way they already approach the world.

I’m exploring the topic I call “Parenting Upstream” over at Moonfrye today.

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About Carinn Jade

Mother, lawyer, yogi, writer, non-sleeper. Published @NYTMotherlode. Contributor @Mommyish @Moonfrye @HuffPostLive. I like beer (not wine) & tea (not coffee) & being a contrarian.
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2 Responses to Nature vs. Nurture

  1. sara says:

    im adopted and 16 i met my birth mother about 3 months ago, nature in my situation has much to do with me. yes i act like my father who adopted me and have similar traits with him, but i act like my mother in ways unimaginable, the grammar we use, the way we think about things, how we handle problems, our posture, its scary still to me because im almost an exact of her with small traits of my father. so in my situation nature vs nurture leveled themselves out. you may not see it now in your kids but its there, strongly or not, i believe that it is there.

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