Naming the baby should be the very first perk you get for bearing the fruit of his loins

I can’t let it go.

It’s been 3.4 years and I can’t let it go.

I want to change my son’s middle name.  Last year I insisted it should be Jagger.

Let me tell you, he’s got the moves to pull off the name

This year I’ve taken up on behalf of Xavier.  Nevermind that it was the name of the first boy I ever held hands with; we were three.  That doesn’t disqualify the name (amirite??).

In hindsight I’m a little annoyed that I gave in on any of my choices just because Ian didn’t like them.  There should be no husband veto power.  Yes, we are both the parents, yes we get an equal say in raising these brand new human beings, yes we are partners in this journey into parenthood.

But naming?  That should be the sole domain of mommy.  You know, like morning sickness, leg cramps, that disgusting orange glucose drink and post-partum hemorrhoids.  He can name those.

While I haven’t taken up an alternative name crusade for my daughter yet, I do reminisce about some of the names that were left on the cutting room floor.

Here are the top 10 girl names that never were*:

1)  Olivia.  About 8 days after Ian and I started dating I introduced this name as the moniker of our future daughter.  He wasn’t fond of it at first, but over the next few years it stuck.  We were married 6 years before we had a girl and this was her name in every fictitious scenario…until I got pregnant.  Suddenly it fit as well as my jeans at 20 weeks — which is to say not at all.

2)  Scarlett.  This was a front runner alongside Olivia since the day Jack White bestowed it upon his baby girl.  Ian loved it, I loved it – it was nearly set in stone…again until I got pregnant.  Too popular?

3)  Clara.  Along the lines of Scarlett, we picked this one up from Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Sadly the cow from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ruined this one.

4)  Isla or Twyla.  Sing-songy and unique these were at the top of my list as soon as we found out we were having a girl.  Plus Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit is a huge inspiration for me.

5)  Skye, Schuyler and Chyler.  Maybe it’s the familiarity of my own name, but I adore the hard C sound.  Too vain.

6)  January.  I admit I was seriously obsessed with season 3 of Mad Men which had wrapped up just as I got pregnant.  We finally ditched it when they confirmed the month of February as my due date.

7)  Bellamy.  It means good friend.  That’s something I hope my daughter IS and HAS.

8)  Violet, Vivian and Ivy.  I have a thing for the Vs.

9)  Winter.  Yeah, I got the idea from Nicole Ritchie, so what?  It’s cute.  Plus, unlike January, it would still be appropriate.  Other nouns I was in love with: Clementine and Magnolia.

10)  Marrin.  First suggested by my mother-in-law this was in the running for most of her gestation period.  Ultimately we just couldn’t figure out how to spell it.  Marinn, Maryn, Marrin.  It also looked too much like my name but wasn’t intended to be pronounced that way.  Too confusing.

*in the interest of full disclosure, my daughter’s real name is among these “finalists”.  Chloe is her blog alias (she works with the secret service, you know).  So be gentle when you weigh in on my peculiar tastes.

What would you have named this little monkey?

What names did you leave on your delivery room floor?

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About Carinn Jade

Mother, lawyer, yogi, writer, non-sleeper. Published @NYTMotherlode. Contributor @Mommyish @Moonfrye @HuffPostLive. I like beer (not wine) & tea (not coffee) & being a contrarian.
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10 Responses to Naming the baby should be the very first perk you get for bearing the fruit of his loins

  1. muddledmom says:

    Naming our kids was easy, thank goodness! My husband and I both agreed easily on both names for our kids. We got a little stuck on our daughter’s name only because I wanted a name that we would then ditch and then refer to her by a nickname (Katherine to be called Kate). He didn’t like it because his name is like that and he has always hated it. I kind of had to go with his perspective. So we went with our second choice. Middle names were a little trickier. ; ) I think the good thing about two people making decisions sometimes is that they balance each other out, mostly.

  2. Taryn says:

    I totally agree, the one who grows a living being inside their body and then pushes it out of their nether regions should have naming rights.

    When I first got pregnant with Charlotte, I became obsessed with naming her Isabella, and calling her Bella. That was the summer of all the Twilight hoopla though… I managed to get it in as a middle name (along with my childhood dream baby name as her second middle name) and for the first few months even got everyone to call her Bella until we realized the name didn’t really suit her. So I guess in a way hubby was kind of right…

  3. I agree, naming should be the sole right of mothers! My hubby was the type who wouldn’t actually suggest names, but had no problems bashing all of my favorites. In the end, we finally settled on naming our girls when I’d mention a name and he responded, “I don’t hate it.” So now, all three have names that he “doesn’t hate”. Which I guess means I sort of got my way.

    • My husband was the same – he never had a suggestion of his own but immediately dished out the negative on my choices. I think he would agree that he “doesn’t hate” our daughter’s name either. That might be as good as I get…

  4. xerith says:

    It was a fun experience naming my son… I came up with ten names that my wife and I pondered over for months, and then on the actual day of delivery, in the labour ward, the eleventh name popped into my mind and we both surprisingly agreed without discussion. That is how my son got his name. 🙂

    • I had a rule that I refused to entertain any new options after 30 weeks but both of our children ended up with different names than we thought when we went into the hospital. I think it’s a really fun process and I’d have 10 kids just to name them. Raising them, well, that’s a different story.

  5. amommys2cents says:

    I’d had the name Ariyanna picked out for a daughter since high school, and guess what – our 3 year old’s name is Ariyanna! Her middle name, Kay, is both my mother’s maiden name and a sister-in-law’s nickname. Picking that combo was easy. Our next kid is going to be difficult since I like more unique and whimsical, even exotic names, than my husband does.

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