Kan’t Kope with the Kardashians anymore, K? K.

For two months last summer the Kardashian clan lived directly across the street while filming Kim and Kourtney Take New York.  Kris Humphries walked among early commuters to his work outs.  Scott Disick donned electric blue suits in my local deli.  Kim and Kourtney, never without a film crew and twenty paparazzi, purchased gum from the vendor outside my door.

Are you getting this? Walking across the street for gum. Riv.et.ing.

They were generally polite and unobtrusive neighbors and caused little distraction.  I had no complaints.  Unless you count their complete and blatant disregard for the letter C.

One could blame this on their parents, who began the K game.  Kim, the second born, was granted the only name that actually begins with K.  Kourtney isn’t too much of a stretch but as you might imagine, Khloe infuriates me.  No where in the English language do you use the ‘kh’ to make a hard ‘K’ sound.  On the other hand, ‘ch’ mimics the ‘k’ in many words such as school, chorus and character.   Not kool.

The girls took matters into their own hands when they “wrote” an autobiography entitled Kardashian Konfidential.  Since then their antics have far surpassed silly spelling mistakes into full blown ridiculousness.  Enter Kim’s nail polish line.

“I am excited to reveal my brand new nail polish collection for our Kardashian Kolors…Wel-Kim to My World!! There are six new colors, which are really feminine and flirty!”

Kolors Colors include “Kim Konfidential,”  “Here Kim’s The Sun,” “Up & Kim-ing Pink,” “Nothing Kim-pared To Blue,”  “Lights, Kim-era, Action!” and  “Others Pale By Kim-Parison.”

I don’t need to point out that all of the “puns” above involve replacing COME, COM, CUM  with the word Kim.  But I will.

Here’s the thing Kardashians.  There are thousands of words that start with the letter ‘C’.  Do you really want “your thing” to be misspelling them all with a ‘K’?  Cause it’s not kute.

The divorce has lost steam, Kourtney and Scott are settling in for baby #2, Khloe and Lamar are back in LA.  I really thought we might get a break from these people.

Boy, I was I wrong.  E! is shelling out $40 million dollars for three new seasons.

Am I the ONLY one out there that wants to see this house of Kards (totally the title of the future unauthorized biography) fall?!?!

Behold. That ass. It’s impressive. Now can we please move on???

About Carinn Jade

Mother, lawyer, yogi, writer, non-sleeper. Published @NYTMotherlode. Contributor @Mommyish @Moonfrye @HuffPostLive. I like beer (not wine) & tea (not coffee) & being a contrarian.
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3 Responses to Kan’t Kope with the Kardashians anymore, K? K.

  1. Those colors CANNOT be real. Others Pale by Kim-Parison?? My brain is bleeding.

    I can’t believe E! is paying for more Kardashian crap. I’m just glad Lamar Odom sucks and the Mavs are kicking his ass to the curb so I won’t have to watch anymore local news features about Kardashian sightings in Dallas.

    Oh, and yes. That ass. I’m slightly jealous, but then I remember how obnoxious the person attached to it is 😉

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