WTTM Jessica Simpson!

Jessica Simpson gave birth to daughter Max Johnson earlier this…

What?

She’s still pregnant?  Are you kidding me?

I’ve said it here before pregnancy is a long road. But Jessica really proves it.  Let’s recap the past 10 months:

 

In NYC on October 27 – visible bump

 

With the cat out of the bag, Jess thought this was a cute way to go public on Halloween

 

The fact that this hit newsstands in mid-March makes me think these photos were taken when she was about 30 weeks pregnant.  You think?
March 27. This was the bump Miss S was sporting at the time Elle was released…shopping in Beverly Hills
Looking serene, she finally ditched the skyscraper heels for some flip flops earlier this month

US Weekly is keeping close tabs on the situation and delivering important updates:

Jessica Simpson is due to give birth to a baby girl any day now, and rather than wishing for a flatter post-baby belly like most new moms, she’s more concerned about her lonely footwear collection.

“I can’t wait for the day I can walk in heels again! My feet feel homesick!” the pregnant star tweeted to her 4.9 million followers Tuesday.”

She’s opted instead for Havaianas flip-flops.

“I actually had to train myself to walk in them!”

As any good piece of investigative journalism does, reading this provoked a few thoughts:

1.  Jessica Simpson has 4.9 MILLION people who want to devour every 140 character morsel she doles out and I have to remind my husband to visit my blog.  Because a page view is a page view my friends.

2.  MOST new moms wish for a flatter post-baby belly?  Really?  They don’t wish the bleeding would end or the baby would stop crying or the night sweats would ease up just a bit?  I know I’m not normal, but I was always wishing I had a minute to brush my teeth.

3.  “I can’t wait for the day she can walk in heels again!” she exclaims, as if it’s right around the corner.  Honey, I’m still waiting.

Welcome – whenever it happens – to the Motherhood Jessica Simpson!  Enjoy the wild ride!

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About Carinn Jade

Mother, lawyer, yogi, writer, non-sleeper. Published @NYTMotherlode. Contributor @Mommyish @Moonfrye @HuffPostLive. I like beer (not wine) & tea (not coffee) & being a contrarian.
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5 Responses to WTTM Jessica Simpson!

  1. muddledmom says:

    I’m amazed she took risk to walk in heels at that point in her pregnancy. I fear for my life walking in them now. But really, how did she not get all tangled up in the fabric of that red dress? I would have been splayed on the street after an ungraceful scene.

    • Me too! I think I switched to sneakers in my 5th month.

      I am fearful for those women who cling so desperately to “my life doesn’t have to change just because I’m having a child”. Um, guess what? After that baby comes, you’re life will barely resemble your life before – heels or not.

  2. “MOST new moms wish for a flatter post-baby belly? Really? They don’t wish the bleeding would end or the baby would stop crying or the night sweats would ease up just a bit? I know I’m not normal, but I was always wishing I had a minute to brush my teeth.”

    COMPLETELY agree. I think our culture has gone totally nuts with this whole just-had-a-baby-must-return-to-size-zero-immediately thing. I get it, Media, I’m supposed to think being skinny is the most important thing in the world, but holy crap, no it isn’t,

  3. Taryn says:

    Holy boobs batman!

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