I’m pinned to the ground, covered with boulders. Everything is black. Air too thick to breathe.
Negative chatter fills my mind.
You’ll never. You can’t. You don’t.
Foolish. Selfish. Naive.
Not good enough. Not quick enough. Not enough.
I want to rage against it, I want to break free. I surf blogs, the news, misbehaving moms at the playground – searching for something to incite me.
I stare at my notebook, knowing that writing will make it all feel better. Or manageable at least.
But I can’t.
I have the tools to make it stop. I’m just searching for the will.
Until then, I’m on autopilot. In survival mode.
Just waiting for the dark cloud to pass.
I don’t need your pity. I just want you to say you’ve been here too. Remind me it doesn’t last forever.