Moms get a bad rap for gushing about their own kids.  They get an even worse rap for gushing about pregnancies and babies in general.  They say things like “pregnancy is amazing”, “they [children] will change your life”, “being a mom makes me better at everything I do” and the most damming “when are you going to have kids?”  Sure I know they mean “when are you going to have kids to join the ranks of the most blissful experience of all time?” but of course it comes out “when are you going to have kids so I have someone else to commiserate with?”

Which reminds me of being in the Verizon Wireless store this weekend.  That’s right.  I was hearing all the same things – the blind love, the incessant gushing and the cult-like insistence that you join too – but there were no children in sight.  The object of this mom-like fervor?  The iPhone.

Behold its perfection

Why does everyone need to tell you how amazing their stinking iPhone is?  “You can’t imagine how you lived without it!”  Does the thing fold the laundry?  Because that’s something I couldn’t live without for one minute longer.

My husband is one of these devotees.  He goes so far as to trash my Android (which I happen to enjoy) simply for not being an iPhone.  In common conversation he now uses “droid” as a noun/verb meaning “[to reach] an unfavorable result.”

As in:
“Chloe peed through her onesie and I don’t have a back-up”
“Oh man, that’s a droid.”
or “I waited in line at Babies R Us and they wouldn’t take my coupon”
“You totally got droided.”

Though I defend the mom and vilify the iPhone user, I am forced to see the similarity – we are just extremely passionate about the things we hold dear.  Even if mine is the flesh and blood of my womb and yours is a silly machine that has the most annoying ringtone of all time.  Yes, even despite that minor difference, I support you iPhone user and refuse to speak ill of you again.

But like people who post pictures of their pets in outfits, there is one group I won’t let up on.  Hey!, blackberry user, 2002 called and it was using an iPhone.

I actually had one of these awesome RIM wireless versions…over 10 years ago.

About Carinn Jade

Mother, lawyer, yogi, writer, non-sleeper. Published @NYTMotherlode. Contributor @Mommyish @Moonfrye @HuffPostLive. I like beer (not wine) & tea (not coffee) & being a contrarian.
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3 Responses to iMom

  1. muddledmom says:

    Your husband may not want to see my phone. It’s a post unto itself. An old-fashioned flip. I don’t text. I barely make calls. Sadly, a Blackberry would be a step up.

    • Ha! I got this Droid for my birthday last year. My last phone was a flip. No camera, no color, no apps. It had a huge old school speaker on the top. Except I did actually text. Using the T9 function. It was not pretty. Now I need to find a picture of that one. In the meantime, I get you. I totally do.

  2. Lisa says:

    I am an iPhone user and have to admit that I love love love it.

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